It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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