do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
