it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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