I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
