I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
