You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Green mimosas i think yes
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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