I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
