I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
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Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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