are you so shy because you have an std?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
