Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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