I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize