operation harelip BJ is a go
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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