the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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