I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
