I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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