I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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