My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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