I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
