I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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