absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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