I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
