i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
