if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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