You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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