how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
