Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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