no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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