Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
