you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
