is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
