there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
