The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
