If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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