Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
