her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
