why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
