im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
