We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize