Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
