apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
