I don't think brook has ever known best
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
