I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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