I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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