i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
