you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
