thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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