Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
