yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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