Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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