so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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