Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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