That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
