If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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