I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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