It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have post one night stand depression
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
