Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
