Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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