2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
